The Conundrum that is Confidence

Have you ever wondered if you’re truly confident? That ten-letter word has slipped off my tongue countless times, yet its meaning still feels elusive.

Even as I write this, a battle rages in my mind. Who will win today—the “you can do it” side, or the “girl, go to sleep, it’s not worth it” side?

Typically, I’d let the “you can do it” side get a few hits in before it’s swiftly overpowered by the “girl, go to sleep” side. But today feels different. Today, I’m wide awake and more determined than ever to take this journey of discovering and learning how to strengthen this mystery we call confidence.

What is Confidence?

Confidence is the “belief in oneself.” It requires a sense of trust in one’s capabilities.

Interestingly enough, the antonym for confidence is distrust. When you don’t trust something, you are not confident in it, and when you do trust something, you are.

Have you ever wondered if you truly trust yourself?

As I read the definition, I found myself questioning whether I’ve ever truly believed in myself. Do I trust my own decisions? Am I confident in my choices, my path, my abilities?

Do I really have confidence in myself?

Intuition and Confidence

The other day, my sister was talking to me about intuition and how it’s basically fueled by confidence.

Recently, when I would hear about the appearance of intuition in others, it often was tied to spirituality or that unexplainable “gut feeling.”

It’s the voice of reason, or perhaps something divine, warning us of situations we might want to avoid.

But intuition isn’t just a mystical concept; it’s an intrinsic part of being human. Studies have shown that intuition is a cognitive skill designed to protect us.

Our brains are wired for it—it’s as much a function of our being as movement, thought, or eating—actions that define our existence.

Well, an action requires movement, just as an idea requires thought. We learn, we train, so we can maintain the new movement required for that action.

Intuition and confidence work in these ways. The more you train your intuition, the more you can trust it.

And as we said before, trusting is confidence.

How Much Do You Trust Yourself?

My sister knows she has strong intuition, as does a friend of mine. They’ve experienced situations that made them doubt themselves, and because of that, they’ve experienced negative outcomes.

But through trial and error, they’ve learned to trust that gut feeling.

My sister’s words stuck with me: “How much do you trust yourself?”

Until then, I had never thought of intuition as something that could be trained or as something linked to self-trust.

When you think about it this way, it’s hard to imagine having strong intuitive abilities without also having confidence in yourself.

Have You Ever Felt Held Back Because of Your Fears?

Fear can hold us back from so much. It can be the catalyst for a lack of trust. I find that I experience the least amount of trust in myself when I am fearful.

When I first started this blog, I had so much momentum because of the excitement associated with something new. It fueled me. I was consistent for a period of time because I trusted my vision. Sometimes that is how it is when you start anything new.

Article after article, I was posting, sharing, pouring, and when the outcome wasn’t what I wanted, I felt afraid. What if all of this energy I’d put into it was for nothing? What if it doesn't go anywhere? And the biggest fear: What if I’m actually not a good writer?

A small idea often gets pushed away because of the fear associated with the big picture. That’s when characters like second-guessing take control and cause you to lose the focus and discipline needed to push forward.

5 Ways to Build Confidence

1. Set Realistic Goals: It’s scary going into something new with such high expectations.

 Start with small, achievable goals. As you accomplish them, your confidence and self-trust will grow. Gradually tackle more challenging goals as you build a track record of success.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially when you make mistakes or face setbacks. Mistakes are part of the learning process and don’t diminish your worth or abilities.

3. Follow Through on Commitments: Build trust with yourself by following through on the commitments you make, both to yourself and others. Keeping promises, even small ones, reinforces reliability and self-trust.

4. Embrace Self-Reflection: Talk to yourself, ask yourself how you’re doing, where you’re at. Recognize your achievements and understand areas for improvement. Journaling or meditation can be so helpful for that. If you’re a believer, talk to God, and ask for assistance and guidance to be able to handle your doubts.

5. Embrace Self-Reflection: Talk to yourself, ask yourself how you’re doing, where you’re at. Recognize your achievements, and understand areas for improvement. Journaling or meditation can be so helpful for that. If you’re a believer, talk to God, ask for assistance and guidance to be able to handle your doubts.

Confidence can seem like such a conundrum because we often think of it in absolutes. In reality, trust is a home built, brick by brick.

So, let’s take this journey together—step by step—toward building the confidence we all seek. No absolutes—just one day at a time.